At a crossroads in life, the path is never certain. Which do I take – the path that is trimmed and ready for people to walk on, or the one less traveled full of the unknown?
Personally, I love predictability. I like to know what’s happening next week and what is going to happen later today. I like schedules, and routines.
But recently, I’m finding myself in a sea of unknown circumstances. I know where my life is heading (somewhat) but the biggest question left to answer is what I will do after graduation. Will I continue to graduate school, or begin working a ‘big kid job’?
I want to work for a non-profit organization and I want to work within the community. I want to work for an organization that is involved in the betterment of the community they are located in and I want to help those people who everyone else has forgotten to achieve happiness and life. The only question is how.
Last night, I found myself reciting the Christmas Story (yes in the middle of August) but what stuck with me was two words that are found in various phrases through our the Bible about 365 times “Fear Not”.
These two simple words should be easy to follow, right?
Wrong.
I find myself fearing tomorrow, tonight’s work shift, this semester, the test next week, and just about something new every day. I fear about how I will pay for my wedding next year, and now I am going to afford my rent in the upcoming months. I fear how I will find a job when I graduate and the most important one of all to me, I fear that I am not living up to what God has for me in this life.
One of my favorite things to talk about. Here recently, since I’ve been engaged and building my confidence in the kitchen with concoctions I find on Pintrest, I have ventured out and tried making dishes that I would have never had if it weren’t for the internet. So, with that being said, tonight’s dish is…interesting.
The name of the dish is Chicken Yakisoba.
This is the website I found it on and used the recipe for: find it here! This was a super simple dish, and smells amazing.
I will update as soon as I have actually eaten it though. I am waiting on Andres to come eat with me since I made this rather large dish!
It’s been a while since my last post.
(Yes, I am aware I just posted one. It was from November that I forgot to post.)
There has been a lot to happen since my last post in November.
I left a job; started another.
I was able to celebrate a beautiful engagement with two of my best friends.
(Pssstttt, That’s their rings.) (And my photography)
We mourned the death of the precious Shiloh. We had to have him put down. He did not suffer, he was just simply old. It was the hardest decision my boyfriend ever had to make. What’s worse than putting a childhood best friend down? My inability to be there. I was working.
We celebrated a wedding with two beautiful people. It was a blessing and absolutely gorgeous ceremony.
We celebrated Christmas and the amazing gift that was given to us in the form of Jesus.
I went to Canada with my boyfriend….and came back with my Fiancé.
Yes, this is him proposing to me, in real time, caught on camera.
And here is the story.
The day began like any other that we had had in Canada. We went tubbing down this awesome hill about an hour north of where we were staying with this dad and stepmom. We spent the entire day going down this hill and laughing with everyone that was there. When we got back to the house, I was ushered outside to help walk Jack, their family dog. (All I wanted to do was shower. Good thing I didn’t get my way!)
We were walking around and throwing snowballs at Jack to catch in his mouth while his dad was taking pictures of us. I was being teased because I was not smiling as widely as I should have been. (I just wanted to shower.) Andrés looked at me, and asked “Do you want me to make you smile?” I started panicking saying no. (Last year when he said this, he tackled me into the snow. I was justified!) Then, he preceded to get on one knee. I whispered to him “Ask me” because I really wanted to hear the question. So he asked, and I said YES!
So, there’s the story. It’s a beautiful, amazing, blessing that I have been given.
I find stuff in my room that I have long forgotten about. A CD here and there, maybe money that I stashed for whatever reason only to forget about it until I come across it again.
But then, there are memories.
As a photographer, there are moments in which I cannot help but capture. As I clean, I come across these moments in picture form and I cannot help but think “These moments are the reasons I’ve become who I am today” I see myself smiling with old friends who no longer keep in touch or those who Death has taken away.
I see my best friends, the girls I could not live without when I was ten or eleven.
I see my ex boyfriends who helped pave the road I am on now which lead me to the most wonderful man in the world.
I see pictures of teachers wh has help me get to my last year of college and those people who have never given up on me.
And I cannot help but realize, I have it pretty great. Through out my life, I have been blessed with amazing people, and a great family that I am thankful for.
How many people have been preached to their entire life that if you do not attend college, you will get no where?
I know I was, up until I was found to be dyslexic.
I was young when my teachers pulled my parents aside and explained to them that I was not in the same levels as my peers and that the school wanted to test me for every disorder in the book until they figure out which one fit me. I have learning disabilities. From that point forth, my teachers, my parents, and my peers knew I was different. I was taken out of the regular class room and put into a specialized one for kids like me. We had two teachers for about eight kids. The eight of us had learning disabilities across the board stemming from the inability to understand what they were reading, to my own inability to understand letters and numbers.
These days were not easy days. It was not until i learned what the world of books could offer me. I began reading the Harry Potter series when I was in 4th grade. By the time my yearly meeting came around, my teachers were talking about removing me from the reading class I was in and placing me back with my peers. It wasn’t until 6th grade that that occurred.
However, I was to be kept in my special education classes for English, and was actually put in one for math. But that was okay, math stinks anyway.
So, high school rolled around. I was reading and writing on a college level, or so that’s what the tests said. I was determined to get out of the special education classes by this time too. I did not want to be ‘that girl’ in high school who was still in special education classes and unable to graduate with a college prep diploma. My high school still placed me into a lower level reading class. I was furious.
My parents talked to the school officials and had me removed from the lower level class into a college introductory class. I lost the fight against math.
I was told my a teacher in high school I would never go to college.
Well, this post is to prove them wrong.
And this is not the direction I had intended for this post to go. Go figure.
I have EIGHT credits left until I graduate. I will be graduating in a year from now, if all goes well. I will have a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. I do not know how to handle this information.
I’ve said I have had many experiences in my twenty-two years.
Here is the first to share and the lesson to follow.
Who you see now is not who I have always been. I have not always had this incredible life that I lead today. I have had my fair share of bad relationships and short comings. I have had struggles and disappointments like everyone else. In my opinion, those struggles and disappointments create gateways for lessons and encouragement.
I started dating Andres in July of last year. (2012) Shortly after we began our relationship, he was offered a Lighting Director position at the church we now attend together. By the time Christmas rolled around, he was more than able to create an astonishing Sunday show for worship.
That’s not the point of this though.
Our church hosted a Newsong concert event which was on tour in Georgia. This is where I first heard this song. I was blessed enough to hear this live also.
Jonny Diaz is a Contemporary Christian music artist and, in one song, he changed everything I thought about myself and how I looked at my self. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I would have heard this song back when I was 14, I would be a completely different person today.
The world today, in everything we love and hate about it, could really use more artists and more music like this. This song tells young girls that they do not have to be the ‘American Barbie’ or this think, blonde girl who has to play dumb to get any attention from the opposite gender. It’s not okay that this generation who is growing up in the high schools across the nation who are depressed or have low self esteem.
It’s not okay.
What this song did for me was something that I will fail at describing to someone who has never had this self-realization that I had on that day right before Christmas.
I’m not the skinniest girl out there. I am not perfect and I have never been perfect. I have made mistakes and I have hated myself for the way I look or act from time to time because I am not blonde, because I am not 100 pounds at twenty-two years old. (Try more like 150 lbs) I can remember asking God why I was not made to be a popular, gorgeous girl, and why I was always the sporty girl. Why wasn’t I like everyone else?
But I am exactly WHAT I am supposed to be. I am who I am meant to be. Through the mistakes I have made, and the struggles I have had, I have made it to this beautiful time in my life. The hardships and struggles and this song has made me realize my real value. Not the value society sees, but God’s value within me.
I have been through what I have been through to HELP others get through what they are going through.
I have been made to fulfill a greater purpose than I could ever even imagine, and I am still on my path to where I need to be in order to glorify God. He has blessed me with struggles that test me to remind me how awesome He is and how incredible His plan for my life is.
He has placed the people in my life throughout time to give me some of the best, and worse memories that a person could ever have so that when it happens to someone else, I can witness and help those people.
This song gives me hope.
This song creates an astonishing amount of accountability within my heart to serve my friends and strangers with the information and life experiences I have been blessed with.
As we all can see; this is my first blog post. This is also my first blogging experience. Let’s travel this road together and see where it goes!
I’m Kaitlyn. I’m a pretty awesome girl, or so I think so. People tell me I’m awesome too. So it might be true.
God is my Savior and Christmas Time is pretty much my favorite time of the year. It hasn’t always been, but it is now. Halloween and Thanksgiving are pretty cool too.
I have an incredible man in my life. He’s my puzzle piece and I am blessed to be his. I’m sure if you stick around, you’ll get to know him well through my stream of posts.
I have an adorable pup too. His name is Shiloh. He’s not really a pup…he’s 13 years young. He’s not really mine. He’s Andres’s. But that’s not the point. He’s adorable and he lives with me.
See? He loves me and that’s all that matters.
I attend Kennesaw State University and am a junior studying Psychology.
I was Freud’s Super Ego for Halloween. I’m a nerd by the way.
I love to read. I love to read series books too. I’ve read a lot, and may post about some of the books I’ve read. This is your warning.
Basically, that’s about what you need to know. I’m a geek, I’m a nerd, I’m a lover, I’m a fighter and I will always stand for what I believe in and how God leads me.
Photo by Kaitlyn
KaitHyde 